misshepeshu: (Behold the Kitty!)
I will be doing not one, but TWO bookreadings in your area in the next two months or so!

The first is in the Tukwila Barnes and Noble on May 13, at 7 p.m.. Address is 300 Andover Park W, Ste. 200, Tukwila, WA 981880.

The second is at Third Place Books on June 27 at 6:30 p.m. Address is 17171 Bothell Way NE, Lake Forest Park, WA 98155.

It's going to be amazing! There will be Choose Your Own Man-Titty read-alouds, and silly Mad Libs games, and me alternately waxing rhapsodic and ranting about various and sundry subjects related to romance novels, up to and including man-titty. So come one, come all, and heckle ye forth!

(This message brought to you by the letter OH JESUS IT'S FINALS and the number I JUST WANT TO TAKE A NAP.)
misshepeshu: (Default)
But I wrote two pieces (one of them jointly, with Sarah) for the Powell's Books Blog, and I'm actually kind of proud of them. Check 'em out:

Everything You Thought You Knew About Romance Novels, and Why It's Wrong

The Genre Ghetto's Genre Ghetto: How I Got There, and Why I Love It (The first sentence, by the way, should read "Welcome to the romance ghetto." I have a tendency to omit words and not notice at all, grrrrr. I'm looking into getting that typo corrected, because man, the paragraph doesn't make sense with the sentence as written.)
misshepeshu: (Dance!)
...AND I'M TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT VAGINAS.

Also, check out how sultry and smart Sarah sounds. (I mostly sound dorky as all hell, but hey, that's why they pay me the big bucks, I guess. To sound dorky. Right. Ahem.) Anyway, Sarah on the radio = ROWR.

Sorry to everyone I've already spammed this to via e-mail and Twitter, but my moment of gloating and glee MUST CONTINUE.
misshepeshu: (Nerds are Hot)
I composed a haiku.

In bastardized Middle English.

In tribute to one of my favorite romance novels.

YOU THINK IT'S HOT ADMIT IT.

(Even if you won't necessarily get it because you haven't read For My Lady's Heart, but whatevs.)
misshepeshu: (up and down)
Indiana recently passed a bill that requires all entities selling "sexually explicit material" (defined as anything designed solely to stimulate the genitals, anything that would inspire the "prurient sexual interest of minors" and anything related to BDSM) to pay a $250 fee to the Secretary of State and being registered with local zoning authorities as a purveyor of, well, sexually explicit material.

So yeah--anything that would inspire the "prurient sexual interest of minors"? What the fuck? That would probably include everything from Victoria's Secret catalogues to cute classmates to hardcore porn. The BDSM thing...I just don't even know any more. I give up. These politicians seem to be scrambling for a new hot button to push now that the Supreme Court has said homogay buttsex is OK. It's quite mind-bogglingly stupid.

...can I get into trouble for sending links to Japanese eel porn, 2 Girls 1 Cup or fursuitsex.com to members of the Indiana legislature?

At any rate, I go on for considerably longer about this issue at Smart Bitches.

In other news: Mongolian Death Flu marginally less deathly, though I've found that trying to go on less than 9 hours of sleep a day just doesn't work. I mean that literally--I can't function. I can barely walk and talk, and the only thing I can do is seek more sleep. Guh.

On piracy

Feb. 10th, 2008 02:04 am
misshepeshu: (Blackbeard)
People have bitched before that the comments at Smart Bitches can get mobby and shouty and awful when you hold an unpopular opinion. I haven't been at the receiving end too often, largely because, well, I'm one of the owners. However, I'm certainly getting it from all fronts this time, in a recent discussion about illegal downloading.

Despite all that, I'm not fazed by the loud disagreement. Some people are irritating me with their black-or-white attitudes, and others are getting on my tits because they're attempting to drag plagiarism into the issue ("If you think downloading books occasionally is OK, you must WANT TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR PLAGIARISTS, because some of those books are in .doc format, which makes things easy to copy and paste!" Oh for chrissakes. Here, let me hand you a tub of KY so you can lubricate that slope even more.) By and large, though, the discussion, while noisy and occasionally barbed, has addressed issues and not made personal attacks, and I'm OK with noisy dissent. I just wish more people brought up issues that actually made me pause and think, instead of sweeping statements about dirty thiefses, precioussss. They have a point if you come from a certain ethical standpoint (some people honestly don't see the difference between, say, Ken Lay and a shoplifter--a thief is a thief is a thief), but there's really no fruitful debate when you take that position and hold on for your life. And there really IS nothing to debate for them, of course. It's wrong. That's it, and that's all. But there's so much juicy stuff! The nature of intellectual property, the state of copyright law, and DRM (god, DRM alone would be FASCINATING debate material), the nature of "sharing" electronic files, etc.

I'm enjoying myself a whole lot, reading the comments and attempting to clarify my positions, but a) it's throwing me off course in my homework and The Book, and b) I'm unable to do any of the issues justice, because I don't have enough time to formulate thoughtful, reasoned replies--I'm mostly writing slapdash things that float to the surface of my brainmeats.

Unrelatedly: I have a long, long post about magic and science and teaching both to kids and how they're not even remotely mutually exclusive. Maybe I'll allow myself to write it out if I'm good tomorrow and get the necessary amount of work done.

HOLY SHIT

Jan. 10th, 2008 12:38 pm
misshepeshu: (hitler says wtf)
I was just interviewed by a reporter from the New York Times.

I'm still shaking.

And now she's talking to [livejournal.com profile] katealaurel.

Behold the power of the Internet Kerfuffle.

If my statements are published in the NYT, I think my parents are going to shit themselves.

Hell, I'm thisclose to do doing it myself.
misshepeshu: (Default)
1. Sarah and I wrote a crapload of parody poetry. About David Hasselhoff.

You think we kid? Oh we don't kid about the Hoff, baby. Read it and weep.

2. Bike porn. Clinton Street Theater, 9 p.m., this Friday. I'm definitely going to be there. Who else is going? Various friends have submitted at least two films. One's an interspecies (inter-element? inter-organic?) love story about a man and his fixie, the other's actually porn. Like, people porn. With the fucking and all. You should accompany me, yes yes. You know you want to.

3. The Bus Project's Wheelies award. I designed their website, and I'm volunteering there Saturday night. Alas, not free--tickets are $24--but I have plenty of tickets to sell if you want them, and the Bus is a pretty nifty organization to support.
misshepeshu: (Stop trying to fuck me)
So those of you who haven't yet witnessed the HOLY FUCKING SHIT trainwreck happening over at Smart Bitches, you should go check out the blog post wherein romance novel cover model Tony Catanzaro says he'd love nothing more than to toss Sarah and me (as well as sundry Smart Bitch readers) into the trunk of his caddy and dump us in the weeds off the Belt Parkway--except he's a MOTHERFUCKING GENTLEMAN, so he will pray for us instead.
misshepeshu: (up and down)
In today's example of "Wow, the point just whooshed by so fast past these people that you could hear a sonic boom from its passing," a theater company changed its marquee to read "The Hoo Ha Monologues" instead of "The Vagina Monologues."

Seriously. The HOO HA MONOLOGUES. They've restored the marquee to the original title now, but Sarah posted this snippet of news on Smart Bitches, and the Bitchery has come up with the following suggestions, should the Floridians require other euphemistic titles for The Vagina Monologues:

Twat Tales
Coochie Conversation
Pussy Galore
Clam Conundrum
Tales of the Taco
If These Bearded Lips Could Talk
Parting the Beef Curtain
Love Box Babble
The Taco Show
Clit Chit Chat
Solipsistic Slits
The Erudite Orifice
Gabby Glistening Orifices
Pedantic Pussies
Navel-Gazing Nuunuu
Prattling Poontang
The Loquacious Hey Nanner Nanner
Conversationalistic Coochies
Yappy Yaws
Very Verbal Vaggy

Amusement

Dec. 20th, 2006 05:49 pm
misshepeshu: (Nerds are Hot)
We're running a Big Misunderstanding contest at Smart Bitches. See, the Big Misunderstanding is a staple of badly-written romance fiction. The hero sees the heroine embracing a tall, dark, handsome stranger in the middle of the night, assumes the worst, throws a fit and the heroine across the room, and for the rest of the book, the two of them skulk around like wet cats, grumbling and hissing at each other until it's revealed that LO! IT WAS ACTUALLY HER LONG LOST BROTHER WHO WAS THOUGHT LOST AT SEA WHOM SHE WAS EMBRACING SO FERVENTLY! The one who's a spy for the Duke of Wellington, hence the secrecy and the dodgy location of their rendezvous, not to mention her inability to reveal his name or relationship to her or anything.

You get the idea.

So the contest is: most convoluted misunderstanding wins the prize. And there are many, many awesome misunderstandings. But the one that wins the prize for Geekiest Puns of All Time is this one:

“Tell me, beautiful Dell,” Duncan breathed into her apple-scented hair, “why do you deny my love so? What password will gain entry to your heart?”

She sighed and turned away, staring over the vista. “I can no longer hide it from you. You, Duncan Larksthrush, Duke of Rocksthrust, are a proud member of Clan Macintosh, whereas I—“

“Yes, my dearest?” he whispered, praying her response would allow him into her network.

“I am a member of the De Fenetre family, those your people call Windows. So you see that our love is forever hopeless.”

His heart accessed joy for the first time in many cycles. “But Dell, then there is no incompatibility at all! See the two pairs of footwear I sport—did you not realize that I am a dual-boot Macintosh?”

Dell crashed into his embrace.


Dual-boot Macintosh.

Hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Note: I did not write the above parody of a Big Misunderstanding. It was written by one of our readers as part of the Big Misunderstanding contest. Apologies for any confusion and if you thought I was somehow more awesome than I actually am. I'm pretty damn awesome, but that dual-boot Macintosh joke is awesome++, and therefore awesomer than I am.
misshepeshu: (Rape dollars)
Oh! I totally forgot to mention this: [livejournal.com profile] redsouffle wrote haiku reviews for all the Nebula-winning books she's read, and they were so good, I asked her if I could post them to Smart Bitches, and she said yes, so I did. Go read them, motherfuckers. They are brilliant, especially the Neuromancer haiku.
misshepeshu: (Default)
Smart Bitches just totally got an oblique mention in the New York Times.

I hate the smarmy tone, and as [livejournal.com profile] paraleipsis pointed out when I IMed her the link, in what universe is the word "bitches" not printable? But dudes. DUDES.

I'm...I'm... The New York fuckin' Times.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

p.s. Fifteen minutes of fame counter at 14:27, I reckon.
misshepeshu: (Default)
Hey, remember Bill Napoli? Yeah, the "rape is real only if it's hella rape" dude. There's apparently a viable Democratic candidate running against him this election. Theresa Spry needs all the help she can get--especially help of the filthy lucre kind.

Yeah, I know, none of us are Rich Uncle Pennybags or anything like that, but every little bit helps. Give what you can on-line, or mail your contribution directly to:

Theresa Spry (Dist. 35 Senate)
821 Halley Ave.
Rapid City, SD 57701

(Note there's a $250 cap for contributions to individual candidates, whereas funds donated to the PAC don't have such a limit.)

You know you want to help do your part in napoling Napoli.

Thanks to Smart Bitch Sharon for alerting me to this and pointing me to [livejournal.com profile] mcmillan's journal entry about Spry's candidacy.

Edited to add: Sarah, my co-Leader of All Things Smart Bitchery, has set up a contribution account for Spry at Actblue. I have the awesomest partner-in-crime, ever. You may think you do, but nope. Sarah is miles more awesome.
misshepeshu: (words of wisdom from eric)
As [livejournal.com profile] heyokish might say: Here's a big pile of stupid.

I wrote a long, long thing about this on Smart Bitches.

I've just recently realized that I love debate and argument with a freakish intensity.
misshepeshu: (Default)
I've been insulated from the reactions of people-at-large to my attempts to Google bomb Bill Napoli, largely because I've been tracking what's been going on at Smart Bitches. And OF COURSE the reactions there are going to be favorable. First of all, the people who visit the site are more likely to share my sense of humor (which indeed veers towards the assholish end of the spectrum) and find this sort of thing funny. Second of all, only people who have picked up the ball and run with it are posting comments, which in turn filters out a lot of negative reactions. And third of all...eh. There's no third that I can think of.

Reading the reactions at the Damn Portlanders community has been eye-opening. Just about everyone there thinks it's pointless, sophomoric and destructive. There are better avenues of reacting to the abortion ban and Napoli's dickheadedness, they argue. Volunteer! Write editorials! Etc.

I will be the first to say that doing something concrete is vastly more helpful than helping me Google bomb the shit out of this shit. And HELL YES volunteer, and give money, and write long letters to the editor. But here are the reasons why I wanted to do what I did:

1. I wanted the issue to have visibility. Sarah and I reach a lot of readers every day. Not nearly along the lines of, say, Atrios or Daily Kos, or even Amalah or Dooce, but we have a pretty decent-sized readership. A readership that's not necessarily interested or engaged in the political, so it's kind of nice that I'm able to very, very occasionally do this sort of thing. (The last time we had a politics bitchfight at SBTB was over Katrina. Oh my, that was fun times.)

2. I needed a schtick, a hook, a way to make the comments really, really memorable and not let Napoli fucking get away with this, if I possibly can. I can't vote, I don't live in South Dakota, I only have so much money I can give to Planned Parenthood and the ACLU, my grasp of constitutional law is not so much tenuous as non-existent (though it's getting a bit better every day the more I read and discuss issues with Jay), so I'm trying to do what Dan Savage did: memorialize an asshole by associating the asshole's name with something unpleasant. And keep in mind, Savage had to solicit a new definition for Santorum. Napoli's definition is based entirely on his own words.

3. I feel a pretty strong punitive urge towards Napoli. I don't believe in capital or corporal punishment, but I am not averse to using the power of shame and humiliation. This is pretty minor in the scheme of things, but it's something.

But! Everyone who views this as nothing better than a sophomoric prank--well, they have a point, too. What can I say? I delight in being puerile. I'm a dork--a largely unrepentant one. I can only hope I'm a dork who has outraged some people into thinking about taking action and inspired others to actually take action, like donating money to worthy causes, or reading up on case laws pertaining to reproductive freedom, or [insert Worthy Action of Your Choice].

But even if nothing comes of this, I'm petty enough to admit that having Bill Napoli be connected to the term "hella rape" is still pretty fucking sweet, and I'll take what I can get.

Bill Napoli

Mar. 7th, 2006 02:05 pm
misshepeshu: (Default)
I created a page about Bill Napoli. And if you're interested, you can read the Smart Bitch call to arms.

It's all [livejournal.com profile] paraleipsis's fault. Really, it is.

Profile

misshepeshu: (Default)
misshepeshu

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