misshepeshu: (Default)
For those of you who love Anthony Bourdain, and for those of you who love Narnia, an amazing Yuletide author brings you...No Reservations: Narnia.

I just about shit my pants when [livejournal.com profile] katealaurel forwarded it to me. Ennnn-joy.
misshepeshu: (SPOCK! NIPPLE!)
Dudes. Dan Savage on the Colbert Report. So. Much. Love.



I have to say, though, that this still hasn't supplanted my favorite Colbert Gay Moment of All Time:

misshepeshu: (up and down)
Landed, fresh and steaming, in my inbox just a few minutes ago:



Consider my day Totally Made.

I vote a Burma Shave-style doggerel contest! Winner, as judged by me, gets...my good opinion forever. And also a pie, if you live close enough to me or are willing to visit so that pie-to-piehole delivery logistics won't become too complicated or expensive.

Here's one I came up with--a tribute to eel porn:

The eels go where?
I dared to ask
I must endure
This slip'ry task
Burma Sauce
misshepeshu: (SPOCK! NIPPLE!)
La première chose: Sarah posted this clip of Whose Line is it Anyway? on Smart Bitches, but I have to spam my LJ friendlist too, because HOLY JESUS DAMN it is awesome. You know why? Because Richard Simmons is in it. And Colin Mochrie uses him like unto a jetski.

...look, just watch it, OK?



I may have to spend a good portion of my day looking up Whose Line clips on the Youtubes. I've forgotten how very much I love that show.

(I also have a bit of a crush on Ryan Stiles. So tall! So painfully dorky! So weird-lookin' and weirdly sexy to me! Goes hand-in-hand with my unholy love for Bill Nye.)

La deuxième chose: I love it when judges have a sense humor, because sometimes, it's those flashes of awesomeness that make the pain in the ass that is law school worthwhile, especially when I'm exhausted and behind in all my readings (hey it took me a month to get there this semester instead of only two weeks! Go me!) and I'm darkly contemplating running away to Hawaii to open a cake shop.

First, some context: Charles Wolff is a Jewish man incarcerated in the fine institution that is the New Hampshire Department of Corrections, and he sued, alleging that the prison denied him a kosher diet, thereby abridging his right to freely practice his religion. As part of the evidence, he tried to file...an egg.

The judge's response? An order to destroy said egg. Written in the style of Green Eggs and Ham.

I now present to you:

Wolff v. New Hampshire Dept. of Corrections, Slip Copy, 2007 WL 2788610 D.N.H.,2007.

ORDER

JAMES R. MUIRHEAD, United States Magistrate Judge.
Plaintiff has filed a hard-boiled egg as part of his preliminary injunction request.

Discussion

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Just like no ham
On the kosher plan.

This egg will rot
I kid you not.
And stink it can
This egg at hand.

There will be no eggs at court
To prove a clog in your aort.
There will be no eggs accepted.
Objections all will be rejected.

From this day forth
This court will ban
hard-boiled eggs of any brand.
And if you should not understand
The meaning of the ban at hand
Then you should contact either Dan,
the Deputy Clerk, or my clerk Jan.

I do not like eggs in the file.
I do not like them in any style.
I will not take them fried or boiled.
I will not take them poached or broiled.
I will not take them soft or scrambled
Despite an argument well-rambled.

No fan I am
Of the egg at hand.
Destroy that egg!
Today! Today!
Today I say! Without delay!

SO ORDERED (with apologies to Dr. Seuss).

Profile

misshepeshu: (Default)
misshepeshu

December 2013

S M T W T F S
1 234567
891011121314
15161718192021
2223242526 2728
293031    

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 28th, 2017 02:49 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios